I think about this all the time:

When do you turn toward a child—and when do you turn away?

Because both matter.

Turning toward looks like:
Getting low
Making eye contact
Letting them feel seen in the middle of something big

Turning away looks like:
Continuing to cook dinner
Trusting them to play
Not hovering or over-managing every moment

Here’s what I see a lot:

Adults turning toward children when they don’t need it—
and turning away when they do.

We interrupt independent play.
We over-direct curiosity.
We insert ourselves into moments that could build confidence.

And then when big feelings come?
We pull back.
We shut down.
We try to control instead of connect.

It’s backwards.

Connection is most needed in the hard moments.
Independence is built in the quiet ones.

If you flip those two things, the entire dynamic in your home changes.

You don’t have to become a different parent.

You just have to pay attention to when you’re moving toward… and when you’re moving away.

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This is part of an ongoing body of work I’m calling The Gentle Lead.