Does it get easier? The thoughts of a creature you loved so dearly yet will never see again?

I can trace the outline of his face in my mind. The dip between his ears and his head that so perfectly fit my thumbs, the hollow between his eyes that so perfectly fit my burrowing nose, the silky smooth coat that called for endless caresses while he snuggled so perfectly against me. The smell of his skin, his fur, his paws… utterly intoxicating to one who loved him so dearly.

I’m lost tonight. I’ve relived my goodbyes and want nothing more than to erase those moments during which I saw my strong boy so weak and helpless, knowing what was ahead and trusting me to take care of him.

I should be over it after a year. Yet it marked the beginning of a spiral. Who am I? How do I survive without a creature who believes the best in me and cannot get enough of my touch? Everyone should be so lucky. I had no idea that the absence of his presence would create such a void.

I hesitated to share my pain in its fullness when I lost my Jackson… because not everyone understands the bond between a dog and its person. I don’t care any more. What a treasure to have experienced. A love so deep and a loss so great. Isn’t that what living is all about?

I will miss you as long as I live, my precious boy.